Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Eli Manning a Bengal

Noted anglophile speculates that given the breakdown of talks Eli Manning is on the market.  Eli thinks that quarterbacking for the Bengals is a lose lose proposition.  No offensive line to protect him and he does not want the comparison to Andy Dalton.  Manning would be interested in the head cooach position.  Mike Brown believes that QB is the most important position and if a QB coach can be HC. Why can't a QB?  Andy Dalton could not be reached for comment on taking the HC job himself.

In other news Mike Brown was seen eating lunch at Blue Ash chili.  When the bill was presented he offered to 'flip' the waitress for the bill and tip.  Mike won the coin toss and enjoyed his free lunch.  The rumor that he used a two headed coin cannot be confirmed.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Homeless problem in cincy

Mike Brown tossed a quarter into the hat of a homeless man playing a drum at lunch time in Cincinnati today.  Brown then took back 23 cents change.  Helping the community he said unironically.

Kitna back home?

A noted anglophile reports that he is interested in John Kitna returning as head coach as of January 21, 2019.  "I just don't see how Zac Taylor will be available soon enough to help this season."  If Zac falls through and Kitna signs with Dallas the only remaining choices are Hue Jackson or the return of the Marvin.  And there are fans that will go on a hunger strike to prevent that.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Giants to ruin team for years

According to an anonymous source, my cousin is a giants fan but I haven't talked to him, the Giants will trade draft picks for Joe Flacco.  Flacco is a great fit for the Giants vertical passing game and the G-men have a stable of star recievers to complement the ground pounding attack of Barkley.  Other sources report that the giants will pick Kyler Murray with the 6th pick.  This author finds that strategy mildly retarded.  Why waste a pick on a guy who isnt physically able to play in the NFL?

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Kyler Murray

Is he a first round draft pick?  This author says nay.  Lets hear your arguments.

Monday, January 14, 2019

Dolphins talking rebuild

Once again obsessed fan appears to want what other teams have.  Dolphins were not even terrible this year.

Who else?

Looks like Gary Kubiak is on the market as an OC.  Also it appears Nick Foles is available. Is Foles better than Dalton?  He has more playoff wins.

Todd Monken

Is off the market.  He signed with the Browns as OC.  Apparently he and another contributor to this site believe that Baker Mayfield is a better bet than Andy Dalton.

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Evening rant

Obsessed fan thoughts:

  • Bengals wait out Zac Taylor
  • Mike Brown flies Allegiant Air on frequent traveler points
  • Tyler Boyd endorses offensive coach
  • Why can't Bengals use John Ross like Tyrek Hill?
  • Speculates that Bieniemy is short and will not be named coach tomorrow

Coach hiring strategy

A noted thinker has surmised that the Bengals hiring strategy is to hire the first coach who loses.  This author thinks that thought process cynical.

Afternoon update

Obsessed fan reports:
  • Bengals interested in Darrell Bevell as OC
  • Questionable source claims Jeff Driskell competent
  • Carson Palmer throws shade, "Good luck, that's a tough job coaching the Bengals."
  • Mike Brown consumed an egg for breakfast
This author is concerned 'Obsessed fan' is a borderline stalker.

Rating Marvin

Local media celebrity declares Marvin a good head coach.  People of this blog: thoughts?

Friday, January 11, 2019

Season ticket purchase

A random loon is encouraging the readers of this site, a handsome, educated group on the whole, to purchase season tickets and reserve your place in the Jungle.  This author is skeptical.

Latest coaching update

A reliable source reports that Bill Lazor is in the rearview while Frank Pollard and Darrin Simmons will continue to support the cause.

Will the Bengals be next?

A knowledgable fan reports that a Dallas sports anchor accused the Arizona Cardinals of racism for hiring a young white coach.

Bengals coaching search update

Latest rumor is that Zac Taylor, Rams QB coach is the current target.  NFL rules prevent tampering with a coach on a team still alive in the playoffs.  Smart fans still expect Hue Jackson to be head coach on draft day.